i was at my bestfriend's wedding when i saw a miss call from my mum. Fearing the worst, i anxiously called back when i was told that ayah was coughing blood and blood came out from his mouth continuously. few minutes later, received an sms from Syaiful (ayah's youngest child) saying that ayah's liver had shut down and they are bringing ayah back home as the doctor said there's nothing much they can do to help ayah. Receiving such sms told me to be prepared for the worst.
i was really in big dilemma whether to stay on at my bestie's wedding or proceed back to Eunos to welcome ayah. upon reaching the groom's side, i decided to take cab and headed back to woodlands to get my car and sped to Eunos. When ayah finally arrived home, I was overwhelmed to see ayah in such a dire state. seeing him like as though he was at the verge of death. When ayah was finally rested on the bed, all of us (mama misah, tajjul,kak mara,syaiful and myself) sat around ayah, reciting Yassin prayers. to see such a good man to be in this state is really painful. Tajjul and Syaiful kept reciting syahadah at ayah's ear. As we all know that ayah will never be well, we were trying to make ourselves mentally prepared to let him go. Suddenly Tajjul looked at us and told us that ayah's hand is cold and there's no pulse. I quickly told kak mara to call a family doctor to check on ayah's pulse. Unfortunately, the family doctor cant be reached and paramedics were called instead.
when the paramedics came and we were stunned and shocked when we were told, "Im sorry but your father has passed away at 5.27pm."
tell me, how would you feel when you hear such statement? i felt like i was struck by a thunder. it was too much for us to bear even though we were trying to make ourselves mentally prepared. To lose someone like ayah, who was such a good man, a good father, it was really an unbearable feeling.
all of us felt a great sense of loss, especially me. though im just a niece, i feel such an immense pain in my heart. Eventually, all of ayah's family members will meet him in Heaven. But how about me? I was loved by him on Earth. When I die, will ayah still remember me and love me still? Will I be given a chance in after life to live together with ayah and his family?
I shouldnt be sad for ayah because ayah will be happy in heaven. I am just sad that now i dont have any fatherly figure to look up to. To seek for advice when I need to. To be showered with fatherly love when i am feeling down.
maybe there's blessing in disguise for me. Its time for me to be close with my own dad. It will never be the same. but its no harm trying.
Allahyarham Haji Muslim Bin Arip
08.01.1949 - 22.11.2009
(if you read this blog, do pray for my dear ayah)
AL FATEHA
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