It is just so sad to see some students of my own race doesnt appreciate what the teachers have done for them. It is really sad and demotivating to see that they dont really care if the teachers really cared for them.

I am just thankful that I have strong rapport with my 4NA malay class. To see how much they respected me and appreciated all my hardwork for them, somehow it makes me feel that all my sacrifices made for them are all worthwhile. Im really sad that they will be leaving the school soon. I am going to miss them very badly. I am going to miss marking their work with great efforts; im going to miss all the laughters and lame jokes we shared; im going to miss doing all the wonderful worksheets for them. I want them to do well for their N levels because they deserves to get good results. And I will always pray for their success in everything they do.

I just hope my current batch of 3NA will change for the better. I am just not sure where and how am I going to get the energy and motivation to motivate them to do well for my subject. Of course its not fair to make a comparison, and im sure they have their own strengths however, somehow, somewhere, they are not maximising their strengths. Instead, they choose to leave everything to destiny and fate. If their mindset continues to be like this, tell me, how am i going to motivate myself to help them? If I have prepared so much for them and they gave me "i cant be bothered" attitude, then whats the point for me sacrificing everything for them?

and the irony part is, im close to the non-malay students (with an exception to my floorball boys). why? because they'll respect you and they'll care for you.

Its so sad, isnt it? Im coming to a point where I really wash my hands of them. Even if telling my sad life story wont change them for good, then I'll guess its time for me to leave and seek for my happiness elsewhere where students of my own race who will care and respect me.

Dear Allah, give me all the strengths I need to overcome this disappointment. Its really eating me now.